Man, is it ever nice to be back at Blogger! The reason this time? Well, there’re some new owners over at homeschoolblogger.com and in order to stay I would have to do some exporting and importing and blah blah blah and now that I have high speed internet—yes! Me!—it occurred to me to check things out here. So far, so good. Even if my offline program, Live Writer, doesn’t work, I can compose online because I’m always online anyway. HughesNet Gen4. This is month two and I love it. Worth the cost. Write it off as a homeschooling tool.
So, I gotta pop around this place and do some updating. I see my blog roll is sadly outdated (if you have some time, check out my friend Denny’s blog, Our Tomorrow), as is my profile info. It used to say something about "serving my heavenly father." I’m no longer serving a heavenly anything, no longer trying to live up to the unclear expectations of the Bible. You can read about my spiritual journey at my last blog (now moved to , but the long and skinny of it is that last October Bobby and I got into some Bible study that lead us right out of the Bible, out of Christianity, out of Hebrew Roots non-Christian Christianity, out of religion entirely. To suddenly see that the Bible and its god were the works of man was a shock and slightly terrifying at first. We were certainly not looking for it. I toyed around with Deism for a bit after that but now I honestly don’t care if there is a creator god or not. I might philosophize about it occasionally, but I’m tired of wasting energy on things that mankind can’t possibly know and wouldn't matter if we did. Life is too damn short. Too damn full of amazing (real) people and things to learn and explore. It is every bit as rich as it was a year ago and a far sight more enjoyable as a whole.
That said, as I look back over the last few posts here my heart kind of quivers. Do I regret the time I spent as a Bible-believer? In some ways. But I don’t regret for a moment the friendships I formed. The Fourniers, Singhs, Tuckers, Sweeney’s, etc… so many dear families. Funny, now that I’m outside religion I see it for the box it is but I have no reason to reject those within it. Unfortunately, those within it have reason to reject me. I am Lost. I am Infidel. I am Other.
I try not to let it bother me, rather just accept it for what it is, glad I had that special time with special people. I have shed my tears and grieved for all of those friendships lost. Now I will have new special times with new special people. I already have amazing new people in my life. And family relationships have lightened up now that we are not so religious. I have spent some wonderful time with my brother, for instance, with all the walls down. I even have some Christian friends who have stood by me, who have seen that I have not changed so much, and love me for who I am, not what I believe about the Bible. It was just before the Feast of Tabernacles last year that we made our Exodus and I very much missed that enchanted time of camping and fellowship in TN. This year we plan to get some family and friends together for an extended camping weekend because it’s such a great fall tradition. I decided we should also work in a spring time family tradition, a float trip in late April or early May. I am very much looking forward to that! If all goes well, there will be a summer vacation to Vermont to visit long-time friends and family, and around that the summer holds promise of many enjoyable nights of universe exploration, astronomy with local friends, some community activities… I can’t tell you how tickled I am that my transition out of religion, which could have been so painful, was instead made smooth by new friends and new activities. Not just the new friends but old ones, too, like I said. Pat and Lisa and Rafe from VT, whose visit and entrance/re-entrance into my life was timed perfectly, and the renewed friendship with my brother… Waking up each day and realizing, if I take the time, that everything that really mattered is still here and is more vivid somehow. To set my feet on the floor, yawn, stretch, and know that my life is my own, to make whatever I want of it. Mostly that is exhilarating and the most peaceful thing I’ve ever known, but I don’t deny I have moments I wish the responsibility wasn't mine! It would be nice to have someone else to blame, some days.
Now the hour is late and sleep beckons. There is a beautiful spring storm surging and splashing and flashing outside, the perfect lullaby. More later in the week!